Two years ago I was fortunate to
spend five days at the Quest for Life Foundation and see the wonderful Petrea
King at work. I joined a residential program with twenty others who were
seeking peace, happiness and the healing of old wounds.
Many participants told horrifying
stories of tragic loss, serious illness, violent abuse or other burdens that
shaped their lives. I spoke of the trauma and brutalization I had experienced
in my medical practice. What I learned from King was gentleness and non-judgment
in the approach to peoples’ vulnerabilities.
My medical habits and expectations
did not sit easily within a program that seemed so passive and so full of
inactivity. The daily lunch break yawned from 1 until 3.30pm. At my hospital I
usually grab a quick sandwich while working at my desk!
Each day began with an hour of
relaxation and meditation. Our meals were prepared with seasonal organic food.
Counseling and massage therapy were on tap. Slowly, day-by-day, the peace of
the place dripped into you.
Petrea made no attempt to overcome
resistance. In her infinitely gentle, compassionate and wise way, she simply
bore witness to suffering. She invited participants to let go of past events
and to stop fretting about the future. She called us all to “come to our senses”
– literally to connect to the present moment through mindfulness and noticing
our rich sensory experience.
As the days passed, I began despair
that some of the participants would ever climb out of their anger, depression,
anxiety, or self-loathing. One lady had spent four days curled up on the floor
in a fetal position, hugging cushions. I wanted to push or challenge her.
But on the last morning of the
program, she suddenly opened up like a flower. The transformation was complete
– a new light in the eyes, a different posture and body language, and a
remarkable change in her voice and her words. In that moment, I learned
something profound about gentleness and non-resistance.
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