Sunday 27 May 2012

The patient and gentle invitation


Two years ago I was fortunate to spend five days at the Quest for Life Foundation and see the wonderful Petrea King at work. I joined a residential program with twenty others who were seeking peace, happiness and the healing of old wounds.
Many participants told horrifying stories of tragic loss, serious illness, violent abuse or other burdens that shaped their lives. I spoke of the trauma and brutalization I had experienced in my medical practice. What I learned from King was gentleness and non-judgment in the approach to peoples’ vulnerabilities.
My medical habits and expectations did not sit easily within a program that seemed so passive and so full of inactivity. The daily lunch break yawned from 1 until 3.30pm. At my hospital I usually grab a quick sandwich while working at my desk!
Each day began with an hour of relaxation and meditation. Our meals were prepared with seasonal organic food. Counseling and massage therapy were on tap. Slowly, day-by-day, the peace of the place dripped into you.
Petrea made no attempt to overcome resistance. In her infinitely gentle, compassionate and wise way, she simply bore witness to suffering. She invited participants to let go of past events and to stop fretting about the future. She called us all to “come to our senses” – literally to connect to the present moment through mindfulness and noticing our rich sensory experience.
As the days passed, I began despair that some of the participants would ever climb out of their anger, depression, anxiety, or self-loathing. One lady had spent four days curled up on the floor in a fetal position, hugging cushions. I wanted to push or challenge her.
But on the last morning of the program, she suddenly opened up like a flower. The transformation was complete – a new light in the eyes, a different posture and body language, and a remarkable change in her voice and her words. In that moment, I learned something profound about gentleness and non-resistance.

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